You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2009.

but I love stories about strange research projects.  (Which is one of the reasons I love Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me so much.)

I’m not sure how this came up as a topic for study, but it makes sense, well the study, not the result.  For the past three years the folks at McAfee, the anti-virus software company,  have conducted research to find out who the “most dangerous celebrity” is.  Meaning the celebrity whose name when entered into a search engine is likely to bring up the most sites associated with malware.

see?!  that's the price for fame.  now leave jt alone.

see?! that's the price for fame. now leave jt alone.

I still don’t really understand why it’s Jessica Biel.  Maybe the sites think rabid Justin Timberlake fans will be so blinded by rage and envy that they won’t realize they are putting themselves and their computers into a dangerous situation?  The only time I really think of Jessica Biel is when she’s on Go Fug Yourself.  I didn’t watch whatever show she was on.  7th Heaven?  Which I only know because of the titles of the posts on GFY.

Sorry if this isn’t very funny.  It’s 4:30 am, I’ve been up most of the night with a sick cat, and I’m just trying to get through the next two hours until the vet’s office opens.  I was considering going to the emergency vet last night, but that is an ordeal and a half, and I know she will be much better off with the fabulous Dr. B.  I had to take her to the emergency hospital once, right before Christmas last year.  It was awful.  That place absolutely reeked of overly-flowery plug-in air fresheners.  It seems like we spent a lot of money for unnecessary tests, and then were just referred back to Dr. B anyway.  That was a rough week with about four vet visits.  She’s been wary of the vet since and has tried to escape the last two times we were there.  She’s so lethargic today though, that I don’t see that as a problem.  Last night I was able to get a pill in her mouth without having to hold her down.  So, I’m worried.  Let’s all hope for the best.

If I close my eyes I can taste them . . .

If I close my eyes I can taste them . . .

because now I REALLY want gum drops.

I know the story says that those things are bad, but the picture looks soooo good.  I love sugar.  I love it.  I often keep cotton candy in my home for general consumption.   Sometimes I eat sugar out of the bag.  I’m cutting back on these things.  I really am.  My healthy eating plan (now in its 8th month) has made that sort of behavior near-impossible.  But damn, I had a Butterfinger Blizzard yesterday for the first time in years, and oh my god it was amazing.  It was 1.5 times the amount of calories and fat I am allotted per day, and it would take 4 hours of step aerobics to burn that sucker off (or you could spend that time running 6 minute miles instead).  So it’s up to you, go up and down one step, skip around it, over and back, knee around the world! or go about forty miles.  Your call.

I didn’t eat anything else for the rest of the night and did an hour of pilates today.

One of the best things I ever saw on a message board was a response to the question “How do I curb late-night eating?” – answer “Go to bed.”

So true.

Ok, now, I am 75 years old, but I’m also kinda pissed because I was typing that little anecdote about the message board and missed the final Jeopardy clue and the answer/question was Pangloss.  I could have totally felt self-satisfaction.  Then I would have charged to my bookshelf to reread Candide and lamented about how the translations just don’t do justice to the original French text.  Dammit.

Oh well, I shall not worry.  Tout est pour le meilleur.

stronger or weaker
the hurricane approaches
look out New England!

I really hope no one gets hurt, but I have to say, I was hoping this would swing our way and give us some rain.
I really hope no one gets hurt, but I have to say, I was hoping this would swing our way and give us some rain.

In case you missed it, here is the original Ode to Misinformation.

I feel beat up by the world today. I know that’s rather dramatic, and I don’t want this to be a forum for whining, but today’s xkcd was this great example of how sadness manifests in the life of nerdy library types.

from the hilarious nerdy types at

Note: the rollover text is mine, not theirs. It reflects my personal despair. To see the original rollover text check out their site @

I did have one joy of the day. I finally remembered the title of this book I read as a kid. I’m not sure how many times I checked it out from the library, but now it’s mine all mine for 73¢ plus $3.99 shipping and handling. Yay!

I hope this book is as hilarious and clever as it is in my memory.

I hope this book is as hilarious and clever as it is in my memory.

I hope to post some awesome stuff from this book soon, so stay tuned dear reader (and occasionally readers.)


I don’t know why I enabled the Genius feature in iTunes, but I did. This is what says about Genius:

Meet Genius: a brilliant way to create perfect playlists. Play a song, click the Genius button, and iTunes creates a playlist of other songs from your library that go great together. Genius playlists help you discover songs in your library you never knew you had — and rediscover forgotten favorites.

I accidentally click on Genius a lot. I think it’s when I’m ejecting my iPod from within iTunes. If I double (or triple) click, when the iPod ejects it seems to immediately go into Genius. Anyway, I was syncing/ejecting my iPod this morning, accidentally opened Genius, and saw this:

If you don't know why this is funny, you most definitely don't live in Texas.

If you don't know why this is funny, you most definitely don't live in Texas.

Please excuse the lack of metadata on track one. I got a ton of music from my Dad and the metadata was a mess. Although he claims all the mp3s were “fine” on his PC and it must be my Mac. I’m trying to update all the information for the tracks, but it’s really time consuming. I have it down to under 50 now, and I started with hundreds and hundreds.

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.

basically because nothing is happening.  I know my blog isn’t uber exciting in the first place, but NOTHING IS HAPPENING.  I have not been amused by anything that has popped up in my Google News (I’ve really tried to find the funny, then realized that I shouldn’t force the funny that much.)

Basically, these are the things I’ve been telling my friends about this week (poor souls):

  1. My inability to sleep at night
  2. My trip to the grocery store where everyone was (uncharacteristically) wholly obnoxious
    • Don’t tell me it’s hard to cut my meat the way I want it. Seriously? It’s your job to cut meat, and if you have one customer during the day that wants their meat cut the hard way, well, then that’s just your big challenge of the day. I know this sounds horribly mean, but you all have no idea how much grief I have received from deli staff. One lady in Maryland told me (with oh so much scorn) that the way I eat my ham is like baby food. Wow, seriously? The way I eat my ham is like awesome. Plus, it’s the way I’ve been eating ham all my life. I have been to the grocery store nine zillion times with my mother. She always gets her ham chipped (although apparently it’s really shaved so says the mean lady at my grocery store although I called a trusted butcher shop and they seemed to agree with the shaved, but again, my mother always said chipped to the deli folk). It was never a problem at home. This might sound dumb, but every time I order lunch meat I have to prepare myself for a debate with the deli staff. Ridiculous.
    • My checkout lady (in the ridiculous plastic necklace that I hope a kid gave her and she wears out of love and loyalty) took my canvas bags and put them down in the bagging area when the groceries of the Den Mother in front of me were reaching the end of the belt. I said, “Oh, ma’am? Ma’am, those are my bags.” She glares at me over her glasses, OVER HER GLASSES, and says in the most “holy-crap-you-obnoxious-pain-in-the-ass-how-dare-you-question-me?” tone, “I know.” That’s it. There are a good half-dozen alternatives that would have been good customer service, but she opted for the condescending snark. Then she went through the whole routine with the Den Mother – wherein the checkout person asks you if you need ice or stamps. Den Mother leaves, I’m up. I need ice. I waited to see if she would ask me if I need ice, or again, make a customer service shortcut as she’s already over-the-glasses peered at me. She didn’t ask me if I wanted ice. I told her I wanted ice, she made me repeat myself. I asked her if the ice was over there (point) and she just icy stared at me. Me (again): “do I get the ice from over there?” I’ve never bought ice there before and yes, it’s by the door, but there is also always a giant display in front of it. She was a meanie pants, and that was totally uncool.
    • The funny/best part of this, is back in the last place I lived, this would have been a great grocery store experience. As no one yelled at me, or pushed my cart, or glared at me when I brought canvas bags (then put them in plastic anyway THEN in my canvas bags, but I have higher expectations for service now.
    • I went back today and interacted with the cheese people who are really amazing, and they know everything, and once, I saw the short-haired lady open a box of crackers to give a sample to a shopper who was having a hard time choosing the best crackers for her cheese. I got a sample of their three new cheese (BEECHERS!). I sneezed and another shopper blessed me. I got free milk. The girl that helps you find the best checkout line helped me find batteries. There was no line at the checkout. The diet rootbeer was back. It was fantastic.
  3. How exciting I find the Shiner Family Reunion Twelve Pack. I’d never had Kosmos!
  4. That’s really it . . . so, yeah. It’s been like 102 everyday, so I’m not so into the activities right now. So lame.

So I’ve been thinking about John Hughes, and even though I am exceptionally fuzzy-headed today, his influence on my life is still clear.

John Hughes created my conception of adolescence.  I wasn’t even a tween when the brat pack dominated the movie scene, but I think this contributed to the potency of Hughes’ influence.  I was learning how to be a Hughesian adolescent at 7.  I watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off weekly as a kid, and I am confident that this directly led to a) my desire for a Barbie Ferrari (seriously, coolest thing ever) and b) the unholy amount of school I skipped as a teenager.  (Sorry, Mom.)  I wanted to be Sloane.  I wanted to be the pretty girl to rock the white go go boots, but I was always more of a Jeanie (although, dude, she got to make out with pre-2.5 men Charlie Sheen, nice.)  But it was Jeanie Bueller, Samantha Baker, and Allison Reynolds that were weirdos, insecure, not rich or even wholly sane,  that spoke to me and permitted me to be the insecue, not rich, not wholly sane weirdo that I am.

We’ll miss you Mr. Hughes, thank you for your humor, and thank you for Shermer, Illinois.

I love the suggested links in GMail, although I also find them a bit terrifying.

I love the suggested links in GMail, although I also find them a bit terrifying.

I prefer to let singer/songwriters apologize for me.

Sorry songs:

1) Sorry I Am – Ani DiFranco

  • I guess I never loved you quite as well as the way you loved me I guess I’ll never really be able to tell you how sorry I am.

See, now that doesn’t seem like a NICE apology.  It’s an apology that makes the apologizee hurt just a bit more.  Hey, so yeah I’m sorry that I didn’t really ever love you enough, even though you were TOTALLY into me, my bad.

There are TONS of Ani songs about apologies.  How many can YOU name?

2) We’re Both So Sorry – Mirah

Here is another one that is not REALLY an apology

  • And hey I’m sorry ’bout so much baby but I know you’ll understand
    I’m sorry ’bout so much baby but I know you’ll understand

    So, yeah, I’m sorry and all, but really, you get it, so I’m justifying my actions WITHIN THE APOLOGY.  Nice, Mirah!  That takes chutzpah.

  • How can I ever apologize? I meant you no such harm I never knew I could possess that fatal kind of charm. This one is soooo good.  It’s in the same vein as the Ani one.  Whoa, I’m so sorry that you are so into me, I don’t know what to do about it, I mean how can I contain this awesomeness?

3) All Apologies – Nirvana

I can’t ignore this one; it would be traitorous to my alternateen soul.

  • I wish I was like you, Easily amused
  • Ok, that’s not nice.

  • Find my nest of salt
    Everything is my fault
    I’ll take all the blame
    Aqua seafoam shame
    Sunburn with freezeburn
    Choking on the ashes of her enemy

Ok, so that has a hint of sincerity I guess but more hyperbole and Oh (poor) Me ness.  Then it says some stuff that must be all poetic cause I don’t get it.  This is why I focused on the Pumpkins and not Nirvana.

Speaking of . . .

4) Transformer – The Smashing Pumpkins

  • she’s not sorry she’s happy

Oh, hey, maybe GMail is right about me, cause I don’t know if you noticed, but none of those were really apologies . . .

I guess I just live a clean life free of regrets.  🙂

*tweet tweet*